integrating lessons from loss + pain

integrating lessons from loss + pain

Trying to move forward from a loss and end a never ending cycle of pain can be a hard journey, but ultimately is possible with effort and patience.

I've found many clients within the Everbella community express a loss of a loved one, a loss of a relationship or had to change direction from a long term career they were in. It's never easy to overcome the emotional pain of trying to fill the deep empty feelings we meet inside ourselves.

This trauma the body is going through is a this process that can take weeks, months or even years to overcome. 

In today's post I go over ways that has helped my clients and myself integrate lessons from the loss and pain, and how to turn it into power, resiliency, self love, and forward steps to a recovered brighter future!


Remove Expectations

First and most importantly, don't give yourself a due date to recover. Processing emotions and feelings takes time and some days are easier than others. Due dates or pressure from others about how long it should take you to "let things go" isn't realistic nor is it anyone else's business how long it takes you. Just take each day when it comes and be authentic to you.


Small Tasks

There are two major in denial actions we all make, one being we hide behind our work and the other is absolutely doing no work. Both are creating a blockage from dealing with emotions. Hiding behind work is suppressing the emotion, and refusing to do any work is numbing the emotion. These actions will soon create dis-ease in the body and also will inconveniently surface and explode at the wrong time, in front of the wrong people. 

So, to feel productive and to help yourself soothe, give yourself small achievable tasks. This can be as simple as spreading the bed, making breakfast, or for work: responding to 5 low-key emails, working for one hour on a project, nothing that is over strenuous and overwhelming. 


Channel Energy

Energy needs to move, whether it's through physical movement, singing, dancing, crying, punching, jogging, painting, writing, or breathing, energy can not change without some kind out channel or outlet. If you take a look at some of the best creatives, musicians, artists, etc. - they used channeling to deal with their emotions whether it was pain, loss, joy, happiness or hatred.

Give yourself the gift of release by channeling your emotions daily or even multiple times a day. This will provide you clarity, healing, soothing and most of all recovery.


Energy Channeling



I enjoy talking, to the point where it's hard to stop my talkative flow, however when I'm in pain I close down and don't want to burden others with my worries. Unfortunately, that is where expression is needed the most because our thoughts can be a never ending cycle of repetitive hurtful words like "what if I did this...?" or "why didn't I do that...?"

Speaking to a person that is not from your inner circle can help you express your truth without fearing judgement, criticism, or belittlement. 



It may seem ridiculous to write how your feeling, but at some point you'll see the benefits and how much you've grown from your first entry. One sentence, a paragraph or an entire page, there isn't a metal for how much your write, but allow the release of it on paper or digitally, you'll start to see how journaling can transform your life in bountiful ways.

Who knows, your journal could possibly be made into a book that will help many others one day!


Be Still

This is the hardest part, be still and be silent in thought. Meditation is an art but it also is a workout for the brain. Being able to shut down your thinking mind can be the hardest job you'll ever face, but it is possible through little actions everyday like journalling. By slowly breathing, and focusing on your breathe you'll start to see that random thoughts will no longer influence your emotions but instead your conscious intended thoughts will influence your emotions. 

For example. Instead of you randomly thinking "today is a crappy day" and that being the basis of how you'll feel throughout that day, instead your intentional thought is "today's gloomy outside, which is perfect for me to start reading this book I've been meaning to read!". Same weather for the day, but a different outlook from an aware state of being that started with stillness.


Channeling Nature


Get Outside in Nature

If there is one thing that helps me see life continuing to move forward - it's nature. Nature shows the continuation of all life regardless of death, decay or turmoil. We see flowers die between seasons, we see plants assist others plants grow and we also don't get to see underneath the ground new life get ready for the next season.

All of which reminding us there is more to see, there is more to experience, there is more to live, there is more to share, there is more to gain!


As you give yourself space to heal, there will be many up and downs, there will be hard days and some easy days. Don't give up but persevere, because there is something new, exciting and worth looking forward to right around the corner! 


Your Beauty Starts With Self Care






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